Prying My Hands Off...Finger by Finger...

I wish I could describe how I've seen anew the goodness of God in the past 48 hours. There is nothing quite like hearing from God after thinking that you've been asking and asking and asking for so long and not hearing anything back. Now I keep wondering how I've missed all that He has been trying to tell me and show me in the last couple of months. All I've been trying to do is put my little ducks in a row, to be prepared, to make arrangements, to get ready for this baby, to plan our lives...oh, the details! Over the past couple of months, after I found out I was going to be a mommy, Luke and I also found out that we would have to move out of our house because our landlord wants to sell it ASAP. In the meantime, I had been working 50 hours per week in truly the most stressful environment I think I've ever been in, thinking that I would LOVE to find another job - maybe one that would allow me to work even more of a part time schedule after the baby's born. So, we set out to find ourselves a new place to live and I began looking for work. I also began looking for childcare. Nothing worked. It seemed like a dead end at every turn...


I thought, I am going to get everything straightened out! We are going to have a new place to live, I'm going to have a new job, and we are going to have perfect affordable childcare...except that is almost the complete opposite of what is happening now.

And God is speaking, "Take your hands off! Let me do the work here, and stop trying to control what I am doing! I have it taken care of, if you will just quit messing with everything! Now, go! Relax and let me do MY thing here!"

And so...what do I do now? This is foreign land! But it feels a lot better than fighting with God over who is going to carry this load, it feels better than forcing my way into HIS way and carrying something I don't have to...I kind of feel like the little kid who was hanging on her mommy's leg while her mommy was trying to do the grocery shopping - looking for the right things to buy her child so that she could grow up strong and healthy...