Letting Go

I think it's hard, as a Christian, to realize that our only real responsibility is to say yes to God continually. It is hard to believe that we cannot do anything apart from God, though His word tells us so. It is hard to think that we can't change ourselves, in our own strength. I always try to fix myself, I always try to hold onto things that are not mine, thinking that somehow I know better than God. Surely this is how He would have me do it...

It's not that God calls us to sit around all day and not DO anything, but I think more often than not, we do a lot of things that He hasn't called us to do...or we try to do the things HE wants to do in our hearts. Poverty of Spirit comes when we realize that we cannot. We simply cannot, apart from Him. We may be able to bandage and cover up, but the truth of what is underneath will always bring us back to Him, because we were designed that way.

We live in a do-it-yourself culture, a culture that rates our success on what we have done and if we've doen it the "right" way. We have to accomplish, have to show hard results, have to prove our worth in something concrete. It's so hard for me that this is not God's way. The thing that He has called us to, is to be in tune with His heart, to respond to Him, to wait for His lead and then follow...to ALLOW Him to lead, to open ourselves to Him, to LET Him come in and fix...to let go of the controls we have on our own lives...Respond to His love...we respond to the beating of His heart, not resisting Him by taking the reins. I am struggling with this right now...it's like giving up my own power over my life. It's easy to say, not so easy to do.

How can we be responsible for what we know, and yet...I can't put into words what I'm feeling...yet, not try to fix it when we think we know how. Oh well... :)