Hungry For God

Monday, December 15, 2008

Well...yesterday I opened up my purse at Walgreens to pay for some photos, and my wallet was missing. We had just been at church for a small group meeting where I'd left my purse on the conference room table for a few minutes while we left the room. I don't know if it was stolen or if Sam threw it in the trash, or if Mayah has it somewhere...but we have searched the house, the car and have backtracked to every place I went yesterday and it's obvious that it's gone. So, I have no id, no bank card, no credit card, no insurance cash. No driver's license. And Luke is going out of town tomorrow morning! I called and canceled my bank card and credit card, and I went to get a new license today but the DMV system was down for the entire state of Ohio, and tomorrow I have to take Sam to the MD for bloodwork without a driver's license and without an insurance card!!! Yippee. I really hope it was not stolen...that just creeps me out.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

New Blog!!

I have a new blog! I've been thinking of switching/changing the name or location for a while, and I finally have. Everyone is invited - wine and cheese and chocolate will be provided, but feel free to BYOB!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Update # 2

Well...we did get an offer on our house in Nebraska, for exactly what it is listed for. So far, the buyers have had an inspection, and have not cancelled the closing, which is set for July 9. That is WONDERFUL news, because it means that we don't have to worry with the crazy updates the relo company would require with their purchase.

We are still living in a hotel in Cincinnati. The staff here knows us, knows our kids girl actually calls me the "laundry lady." We have been house hunting, and we did find one that we love. We actually found 3, but 2 sold, and so we made an offer on the 3rd one. It did not end up working out though, so now we are back to square one.

Luke just got back from spending a week in MO, sandbagging and manning water pumps, etc...His employer sent him to help flood victims and mainly to protect several grain elevators from the flooding. It was a week from hell here. If you can imagine me with both kids in this hotel room! Then, Sam got an ear infection, so he did not sleep. Or, I should say WE did not sleep. Mayah is completely freaked out and tired of this situation and is letting me know in any way she possibly can, including peeing on whatever she can find. We went back to the pull ups, but since she knows how to take them off, it doesn't really matter :) Oh yes. I am THAT mom at the park. Everyone is warning their kids to stay away from the spot "that little girl just peed on." And I'm trying to figure out, while I have a baby in a stroller to boot, if I should somehow try to clean it up...with what? Wipes? Ask maintenence for a hose? But then she goes running off again, and I go chasing, so we just let it go. And...I just don't really have anything left to be consistent with discipline. I know that I need to get it together and be the mom, but it just never happens lately. I realize that I can't threaten her with staying home, because by about 10am, if we can't get out of here, we will kill each other.

After visiting every McDonald's with a play place, yesterday I decided that I will NEVER ever ever ever ever eat there again...not even the drive through. I had to tell Mayah that "donald's" is broken. She took it very well. I've gained most of my pregnancy weight back because I can't exercise and I eat french fries every day. So, if I wasn't taking zoloft, I can positively say that I would be a complete mess. Well, I am a complete mess, I think I would probably be in a mental institution.

So...THEN, (and this is for you nursing mothers out there, so men - just beware), I thought I had developed a nice case of mastitis, feeling under the weather, severe pain, strange shapes and colors. Thank goodness I had a friend to call to refer me to a doctor. They have 2 clinics, and the one with an opening was in downtown cincy, in the ghetto. So, here I go, with 2 kids, right at naptime, driving into the ghetto, to have a doctor I've never seen look at my boob. It was fantastic. Really. The doctor doesn't know what is going on, so she scheduled an ultrasound on the same day that we have Sam's first appt with his new endocrinologist (which we had to schedule 4 months in advance), and there is not another opening for the ultrasound for the next 2 weeks. The doctor said that she wanted me in in the next week, so that really freaked me out. I'm a little scared.

That is what is going on with us...we are still looking. It's tough, but Luke is home now, and things are much much better...other than being homeless.

The MOPS leader I met has become a lifesaver for me. She's had us over to play and for dinner a couple of times, and I feel I truly have a new friend. She even let me borrow her crockpot!

Saturday, May 31, 2008


Saturday night the kids and I landed in Colombus, Oh after a tour of Texas to see relatives. It was good to see Ann (Luke's mom) and our new niece, well as the rest of the Bryants! We also got to see my aunt Vicki and Uncle Richard and my grandparents on my mom's side in Houston. It was a good week! The kids loved being at Vicki's...and she actually took over "baby duty" for several nights while we were there, waking up with Sam to feed him in the middle of the night. I can't even begin to explain unless you've had to travel with 2 babies alone how awesome that is.

We also got to see my dad and his side of the family down in McAllen, where the temperature did hit 105 degrees. It was incredibly HOT. My grandmother loved seeing the kids, and held Sam a few times. It was really neat to see her with him, and the life that he brought. Babies do that! My step sister had her baby the night before we left, but we didn't get to see him. He is healthy and perfect though! I also got to see my sister, her family, including the sweetest new baby ever.

We are now living in a hotel in Cincinnati for - well, we don't know how long right now. It doesn't really seem as if anything is being done regarding our home in Nebraska and it's sale. The realtor is still showing it. We are still involved in "something" with the relocation company, though i'm not quite sure what that would be. The best thing for us right now would still be for our house to sell to a private party there. I don't want to go into all of the details because my husband's employer is also involved in the process, which is a good thing, but it has been (and still is) very frustrating.

Living in a hotel room with a 2 yr old and a 7 month old is quite a challenge, but we are coping. I keep going back to something someone told me about our situation. She said that God had laid it on her heart that he is protecting us right now in our current situation, by not allowing us to buy a house yet. So. I'm trying to trust. MEanwhile, there is a nice park nearby, and I've had a really cool day! Let me tell you about it! I called the local MOPS group and was given the phone number of the lady in charge (I think she is anyway), and she called me back soon after. What a sweet soul she seems to be. We are meeting her family tomorrow at a church in the area, and then she has invited the kids and I over to her house Monday for coffee and play time. She told me about a Thursday park play time for moms in the MOPS group also. I dont' even know if we are going to live in this area, but for now it seems like God is dropping little gifts in my lap to bring a little sanity.

We went for a drive today to look at the area...we drove out into sort of "the country" to a place that we LOVE...and stopped at a park where a church was having a little party. A man was wearing a T-shirt advertising the seminary that my brother-in-law is currently attending in Texas, so we started up a conversation. He is the youth pastor at a church, and has a little girl Mayah's age. They played for about an hour at the park, and he told Luke about the area that we fell in love with. We'll see if that is where God puts us.

Who knows what church we'll go to, or if God will even place us in a church buidling...but the people inside those buildings, that make up the organization, have extended their kindness as the "church" to us so far, and for that I am thankful.

I also just wanted to share that I just finished reading The Shack. I didn't think I could get through it, having a daughter of my own, the beginning was difficult to swallow. Also, because I lost my mother at a young age...I've been mad and have blamed God for that ever since. But, I think that God is planting little seeds that will hopefully one day grow into an understanding of Who He is...really. This book did just that I believe. It's a little strange, but I thought it was beautiful. I thought it was cheesy at times, but it made me cry and love even more deeply...and it spoke deeply to my heart. I will have to post about it in more detail when I have a chance. In the meantime, I HIGHLY recommend it.

I miss the blogging community that I've grown to know a little, and I hope to be in touch again soon. If you think of us...we could use your prayers for sanity, things to do that do not cost an awful lot of money...friends for Mayah, our house to sell...these are all things that I WANT, but I guess more than that, peace and patience, and the ability to live knowing that we are being taken care of, no matter where we are.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Todd Bentley/Florida Outpouring/Healings

Anyone heard of this? I just happened to be flipping channels and caught it on GodTV. Um...can I just say how humiliating it was to watch someone knocking people down in the name of Jesus? Screaming "Fire" and BABABABABA ( I am familiar with tongues), and then shoving people hard! He wasn't even really saying anything about Jesus anyway. The folks at the revival were clambering up to the front to touch this guy as if he were God himself, and he was sucking it all in like a superhero. Now, I suppose that God can work here..He can do anything He wants to and however He wants, and maybe there are some legitimate healings taking place. And then again...maybe it's all just theatrics. He was even trying to knock down the security guards who were trying to control the crowd, and then I saw a man and a woman who were "giving the fire" from up on stage...they were almost fighting with each other to get to the next person to hit. Completely ridiculous...hillarious, insane, and a downright incredible performance if you ask me.

Just wondering if anyone else has seen this or has an opinion...because, well, we're not moving in 2 days and homeless and not packed or I have all of the time in the world to blog and read! ;)

Friday, May 02, 2008


That is how my life seems right now. In a way, it's really good because there isn't anything I can to about any of the chaos. I am strangely calm! Or maybe it's just denial :)

It's been almost 3 weeks and we still have not received the appraisal yet for our current home. We found out yesterday that one of the appraisers did not get the square footage!!!!!!!!!!! Yes. Seriously. Everything is going through a 3rd party relocation company, so it's taking a lot longer than if we were just doing it ourselves.

We got ahold of the termite guy who missed the mess the first time, and apparently he knew that he had screwed up because he offered to do the job at cost for us (not free, but hey we'll take what we can get at this point), which is about 2000 bucks less then cost. \ seems like we are just waiting for the inspector's report and the movers to come and then what will be will be...

Sam is feeling MUCH better, and Mayah's keeping us all in stitches lately...little miss drama queen!

It doesnt' really seem like we're moving next week...there are people we haven't said goodbye to and things we have yet to do. If you walked into our house it is business as usual! I imagine by this time next week it will be complete anarchy.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Warning. This is a bitch session.

It's been a helluva week. It started last weekend, really, when we did not find a house in Ohio...then I had the kids for 3 nights without Luke ( I was not cut out to be a single parent in ANY form), Sam got an ear infection on day 2, and Mayah has regressed a little in her potty training. So, between a screaming 6 month old who is in too much pain to lie down, a 2 yr old pooping in her big girl panties, calls from the realtor to show our house, which is a wreck, a kitty who is still sick, and no sleep for 4 seems like it's all starting to pile up again. We found out yesterday that the house has termites...and it's had them since before we bought it, so either the realtor, the pest control guy (who certified that it was termite free), or the previous owner was doing something illegal to sell the house. We have recourse, but it will likely cost us more than just getting the house treated, which in itself is more than we have right now. The inspector came today, and reported that he was going to have to have a structrual engineer come to survey the house because of some cracks in the basement walls, an electrician and a plumber come out and inspect the wiring and plumbing seperately because the house is so old. Yay.

And then, there is the dreaded trip to Texas...This is what is really weighing on my mind. I wish I had a good thing to say about my family, but I don't. I can't wait to see my sister and her new baby...but the thought of having to stay at my dad's just about makes me want to throw up. Hence the previous post. I think since he's remarried (the day after I graduated from high school, which was 11 yrs ago), I have not had a pleasant visit home. This is not solely because of my stepmother...but there is just something strange going on there that I don't understand. Everyone's always on pins and needles, and any type of mess or "out of line" behavior is completely not tolerated. It's so strange. We cannot be comfortable in the house we grew up in, and we are constantly having to make sure our toddlers are not making a mess in the play room, and that they act like they really want to be around my dad and stepmother, when they feel more uncomfortable than I do. I don't know all of the details of my dad's life. My real mom didn't even know all of the details of his's all a secret it seems, which is probably part of the weirdness of his marriage - who knows? I've stopped trying to figure it out. It just seems like whenever we go down, either we all pretend everything's wonderful and come home exhausted from the act, or we have a huge screaming horrible blow out! I prefer the latter myself, but it doesn't really do any good because the pretense will always be there, and then it all starts over the next trip around. My entire dad's side of the family lives in the same town, so that is why we continue to go down. My grandmother may not be alive for much longer and she has not seen Sam or my sister's baby.

I could have a skewed view, I probably do, but it's where I'm at right now. I don't know who reads this, so I'll spare them/you more details except to say that I wish I felt like he even wanted to see me or my children. I just wish I knew how to respond in a healthy way to the whole situation. I love my dad and my stepmother...but I want to be sane. I want to be real and honest and I want my kids to do the same.

And so...the stress of the move, finances, sick kids, and no sleep is starting to wear on Luke and I. I can't remember the last time we actually had fun together!

Okay...Sam is crying...poor little guy.

Just Wondering

What are the different ways people handle extended family dysfunction? Assuming that NOT handling it is not an option?