Paradigm Blow Up

I feel like an idiot. I'm not being pessimistic, though it may seem so. Just trying to digest. I just realized that things are never going to be perfect. They can't ever be. I have always thought that if this one area, or this one thing can change or be healed, that things will be right. BUT, because of our sin nature, because we were born into imperfection, we will always struggle. There will always be something to improve upon, something will always hurt, someone will always sin against me and I will always have sinned against someone in some way or another because as hard as I try, or as desperately as Jesus wants me to be like Him, I am not. I may get closer and closer...I may discover what works better, He may come in and heal those old wounds, but there will always be something that keeps us coming back to Him for more of that healing or teaching. I HATE THAT. I really really do (not the coming back to Him part...). I feel like I'm grieving, my whole outlook on life has changed. It's GOOD that we can always go to Him...but it's hard to swallow that life won't ever be easy. And people who make it seem so are frauds. This is probably so old hat to most folks, but the lightbulb just went on in my head....I have had glimpses of perfection or moments of peace and rest...but until we see Him clearly - Face to face - we will be imperfect. I was raised to be a perfectionist.

THE HEM IS TOO SHORT AND THE DARTS ARE TOO TIGHT. I AM HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING, GOD.